Let’s all go through this checklist to make sure we are in the right relationship before Valentines Day crawls up on us and we’re suddenly celebrating and re-validating what we have going on. If you're not in a healthy relationship, you may want to consider your path. We are going to show you what it means to be in a healthy relationship. Putting it simply, it is one that brings out the best in you. While we must admit that no relationship is perfect, there is a clear distinction between feeling up and feeling down, and healthy relationships make you feel good almost all of the time. There are some distinct characteristics to look for in a relationship – signs make you feel confident and supported – and if you and your partner encompass them, you’re on a healthy track.
The relationship is progressing at a rhythm and speed that both you and your partner are comfortable with. In a healthy relationship, the urge to become exclusive, have sex, move in together, get married, have a baby, or anything in between, shouldn’t be imbalanced. Both sides need to be equally happy and excited about whatever step is to be taken next, without any mixed feelings.
Trusting your partner in the sense that you’re confident they won’t hurt you with any of their actions. Indicators that this is going well is if your partner is comfortable about you doing things without him/her, knows you won’t cheat, respects your privacy online (and whom you are in communication with) and does not make you work hard or go the extra mile to “earn” their trust.
It is so important to be open and honest in your relationship. In a healthy relationship, neither party should feel scared to be truthful to your partner about what you want, who you talk to or see, etc. Open communication should come with ease, and without fear of how your partner may respond or judge you. Even if something comes as unpleasant news, a healthy partner would respond in a considerate way.
It is crucial that both parties are relatively independent in the sense that you have space and freedom in your relationship. Your partner should support the idea of you having friends and a life outside of the relationship without being stuck by your side or in the loop of every detail of your life.
The keyword here is equality. In order to have a healthy relationship, you and your partner must have an equal say when it comes to decisions and also put an equal amount of effort into the relationship. Instead of allowing one of you to have more say than the other or one of you calling all the shots, both sides should constantly feel they are heard and also that they are compromising on decisions that make the other feel important.
Having mutual respect in a relationship means valuing your partner’s beliefs, opinions, and who they are as a person. Giving each other compliments, listening to each other, supporting each other’s hard work and dreams, and sticking up for each other are all part of the big category of respect that keeps a relationship strong and healthy.
Caring and supporting your partner, and knowing that they are and will do the same for you, is vital to maintain a healthy relationship. Be kind and understanding when your partner is going through tough times and in turn your partner should do the same for you and provide a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, or whatever else is needed. Going back to number five, this has to be equal on both sides.
You and your partner both have to take responsibility for your words and actions. Each of you is held accountable for your own doings. Avoid putting blame on one another at the cost of losing mutual respect and love in the relationship. Instead, own up to your actions when you made a mistake. If your partner genuinely apologizes, they are actively trying to make positive changes for the best interest of the relationship as opposed to pointing fingers or taking anger out on you, so respect that.
You must be loyal to your partner. It would be unhealthy for anyone to go against his/her partner. A better option would be to explain things to him/her, and help them see a middle ground rather than attack them. Another big indicator of a healthy relationship is you and your partner keeping each other’s secrets safe.
You should be able to communicate anything with your partner, no matter how bad or hard it is to let out. A sign of a healthy relationship is not feeling judged while knowing that your partner will listen to you and is ready to discuss things, no matter what your opinion may be.